All about papercranes.

Here I write this words in remembrance of the things that happened and I smiled even though she will never be mine, she's the one that got away but the circumstances by which here I am, not sad, just happy is because she changed me, she changed me for the better. She’s a warm ray of sunshine, a free spirit in this tumultuous and constricting after-thoughts that haunt me to this very day and I cherish every words, every smile and every moment spent with her.  It was a college trip where we first met, on a bus as I was sitting listening to music to calm my nerves because we were travelling to a distant place and the road we were going to take was perilous with high cliffs and dangerous mudslides that usually occur usually at that time of year. She came in with a friend, fashionably late but just in time. The thing that caught my eye about her was her hairdo, which was a shawl wrapped around her head to keep her wild hair from flowing all over the place. I thought it was pretty low maintenance but cool. It wasn't love at first sight, mind you because I don’t know what the hell she was thinking about ,if she was stupid because her smile was creepy, or if she hate all guys like those some of those fat Indian feminist cows because I could tell they were feminist by the way they dressed ,you see a typical feminist wears jeans, with short hair, which her friend was sporting and boyish personalities which they both were. It's pretty funny if you look at it now because after I get to know both of them, they made me realize never to judge people by the way they dress or what their ideology is. I sat there smiling, staring into the back of her head, smiling like a douche and thought that this trip is going to be awesome because they came. When we reached our destination, and went to some temples, I took all kinds of photographs because I thought it was pretty amazing to find a rich culture in those secluded parts. We made a WhatsApp group and I uploaded some of the photos I took which they thought was awesome because I'm always awesome. I found her quiet pretty and she caught my eye on the bus so I stole her number. I don’t normally talk to people out of my friends’ circle but I had to make an exception because she was interesting. We hit off quiet well I should say and we became fast friends. I’m always shy around beautiful girls. She was no exception because when we hang out, just talking because my friend and I am like girls, we love to talk, I would stop speaking because I was just shy.It was at these chats that I told her I would make a jar full of paper cranes and write some things on it to give to someone special in my life and she asked me to give it to her.I wrote every night for a month and she kept on reminding me to write my paper cranes and at the last day of school, I gave some of them to her and threw away the rest because I was afraid she’d find out I have a crush on her, It was so childish of me. After all the thinking and trying to discern why I like her,I came to realize I like her because she was real with me and she doesn't pretend to be someone else with me which is rare today in a world full of pretend. So, the lesson I learnt from her is to love myself with all my insecurities, all my dark pasts and all my faults because they are what make me human. I came to learn that by loving yourself first, people will love for who you really are. This is somewhat like a thank you note to her because I know she will read this and I want to tell her, “Please never change even if you feel insecure, imperfect or weak at moments because you're perfect just the way you are and that accepting yourself is the most beautiful accessory humans can clothe themselves with”.