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The folktales of the Hmars

The lazy cricket.
There was a retarded cricket who loves to sing when the ants were harvesting.He would sing and dance rubbing his hind legs during the harvest when the ants were storing up food for winter.He'd mock the ants for working too hard and how happy he was in comparison.When winter came,the grass and the leafs dried out and there was nothing to eat.The ants,having stored up for the winter,made merry and didn't go hungry.The cricket on the other hand had nothing to eat.He begged the ants to let him in and share their food but the ants didn't give a fuck about a lazy,hungry cricket who danced all summer mocking them and turned the cricket away saying fat Bob next door ate all their food.The cricket in hunger,ate parts of his body one by one to quell his ever growing hunger.He ate his legs first,his butt,then his man boobs.After eating his whole body,there was nothing left to eat but his head.With nothing to eat,being very hungry,the cricket swallowed his head.
Moral of the story-You cannot swallow your head.

Sura and the village of people without rectal openings.
Sura was a retarded motherfucker,God bless his soul.He once accidentally travelled to a village where the villagers were dumb as fuck,oh! Did I forget to mention,without rectal openings.He was told to babysit the children of that village because the all the villagers were out for I don't know where the hell they all went to.Being stupid,Sura didn't know the village comprise of people without anuses,don't ask me how they poop because I honestly don't know.So,while Sura was babysitting the children,he accidentally found out that they did not have anuses and no Sura ain't a pedophile,he was just stupid.He had a grand idea of making them a butthole because the babies stomachs(plural of stomach?)were swelling up.He took a skewer and heated it red hot over the fire and made all the babies a new butt hole to poop on.Without anaesthesia(forgot the spelling sorry) and because Sura was not a certified physian,all the babies die of pooping too much,i think.

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